Phainon (▮▮▮▮▮▮▮▮) (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
sandalphon) wrote2025-05-31 10:22 pm
sandalphon) wrote2025-05-31 10:22 pm
inbox / ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
recourt
I'll get back to you, leave me a message!!
Phainon has sent a sticker.
Phainon has sent a sticker.
inbox /
[AUdei attempts to message Phainon after a short bit of sleep, only to find himself blocked. Hoping it's a mistake, he frantically calls him about... 12 times before he finally gives up.
Well.
He was right after all. He's been rejected and abandoned, just like he should've expected. He feels disgusting, and he dwells on that brand new shiny self-loathing while he drags himself to the bath to remove any mess he may have slept in out of misery. He really is the one who ruins everything, isn't he? Of course Phainon wouldn't want to see him, knowing that -- knowing he's the kind of person so degraded by torture that he won't even say anything about burning.
Mydei's unbreakable pride has bent to an all-time low at this point, but there's just enough left that as he sits there in the coolest pool, getting every last smear of soot off of him, he starts to get angry.
Even if he is a curse on his own world, what right does this other Phainon have to treat him the same way as his own? What did he do to that Phainon to deserve the insult of loose coins and loneliness? At the very least, he deserves a reckoning before they part.
And so just as the sun starts to warm Court, Mydei goes hunting. No matter where Phainon is or how long it takes, he's absolutely determined to find him.]
Well.
He was right after all. He's been rejected and abandoned, just like he should've expected. He feels disgusting, and he dwells on that brand new shiny self-loathing while he drags himself to the bath to remove any mess he may have slept in out of misery. He really is the one who ruins everything, isn't he? Of course Phainon wouldn't want to see him, knowing that -- knowing he's the kind of person so degraded by torture that he won't even say anything about burning.
Mydei's unbreakable pride has bent to an all-time low at this point, but there's just enough left that as he sits there in the coolest pool, getting every last smear of soot off of him, he starts to get angry.
Even if he is a curse on his own world, what right does this other Phainon have to treat him the same way as his own? What did he do to that Phainon to deserve the insult of loose coins and loneliness? At the very least, he deserves a reckoning before they part.
And so just as the sun starts to warm Court, Mydei goes hunting. No matter where Phainon is or how long it takes, he's absolutely determined to find him.]
[There are a thousand variables to a hunt, but Phainon's lived through millions of of hunts. It's easy for him to keep moving when he hears Mydei, or spots him.
But what he doesn't consider is that this is not a Mydei who was trapped in the cycles he perpetrated. He is used to being the one doing the chasing, the trapping, the mercy killing; he is not used to being hunted. So it takes a couple of hours, yes, but just as the morning is breaking Phainon gets so mired in his self-flagellation that he gets cocky. Stops paying attention to Mydei, because surely he'd have given up now...?
There's a network of alleys behind the shops - dingy, dark, damp with various things - and Phainon's curled up behind a pile of crates, staring at nothing. His phone's sitting next to him at very low battery, and his once-bright neon pink shirt is streaked with dirt.]
But what he doesn't consider is that this is not a Mydei who was trapped in the cycles he perpetrated. He is used to being the one doing the chasing, the trapping, the mercy killing; he is not used to being hunted. So it takes a couple of hours, yes, but just as the morning is breaking Phainon gets so mired in his self-flagellation that he gets cocky. Stops paying attention to Mydei, because surely he'd have given up now...?
There's a network of alleys behind the shops - dingy, dark, damp with various things - and Phainon's curled up behind a pile of crates, staring at nothing. His phone's sitting next to him at very low battery, and his once-bright neon pink shirt is streaked with dirt.]
[This Mydei is used to hunting, and used to doing such dishonorable things as sneaking. He approaches softly, suppressing his emotions and power as much as possible to minimize his presence.
Then, suddenly, Phainon will find himself entangled in a mass of crystal, just as Mydei jumps down from the shop roof on top of him.]
Don't you dare run!
Then, suddenly, Phainon will find himself entangled in a mass of crystal, just as Mydei jumps down from the shop roof on top of him.]
Don't you dare run!
[Well what else is he supposed to do after that but run? Hello?
He's getting the Reaver flavor, because Phainon can't break free of this much crystal, and he is Very Unwilling to turn into Khaslana, because he is NOT roasting Mydei again. It takes him several precious moments to shatter the crystal, though, and even with the mask on he's radiating panic.]
Stay away from me!
He's getting the Reaver flavor, because Phainon can't break free of this much crystal, and he is Very Unwilling to turn into Khaslana, because he is NOT roasting Mydei again. It takes him several precious moments to shatter the crystal, though, and even with the mask on he's radiating panic.]
Stay away from me!
Stay away from you!?
[Scary form or not, Mydei grabs hold of Phainon's wrists to keep him close as long as he can. He speaks quickly, audibly frantic and trying to get his words out before Phainon can flee.]
I know what I've done to my own world, but what have I done to you that you can no longer bear to be near me!? That you would mock me as you did last night!? The only thing I ask of you is that you do not leave me!
[He's furious, of course, but the crack in his voice at the end is deeply, horribly wounded.]
[Scary form or not, Mydei grabs hold of Phainon's wrists to keep him close as long as he can. He speaks quickly, audibly frantic and trying to get his words out before Phainon can flee.]
I know what I've done to my own world, but what have I done to you that you can no longer bear to be near me!? That you would mock me as you did last night!? The only thing I ask of you is that you do not leave me!
[He's furious, of course, but the crack in his voice at the end is deeply, horribly wounded.]
[The struggling stops immediately as Mydei keeps talking, his voice ringing in Phainon's ears, and he just sort of sits there, extremely confused.]
Mydei I killed you less than twelve hours ago. [His entire body twitches.] What part of- none of that was mocking you! What the hell are you talking about?!
Mydei I killed you less than twelve hours ago. [His entire body twitches.] What part of- none of that was mocking you! What the hell are you talking about?!
You hurt me, rejected me wanting your care, and handed me coin like some common whore! What part of that was not an insult!?
[Whether Phainon meant it that way or not, that's the message Mydei recieved. It doesn't make sense to him why killing him should even matter, let alone justify refusing to see him. The thought hadn't even entered his mind.]
[Whether Phainon meant it that way or not, that's the message Mydei recieved. It doesn't make sense to him why killing him should even matter, let alone justify refusing to see him. The thought hadn't even entered his mind.]
Why- why does any of that matter?!
[Phainon struggles anew, but this time it's not to get away, but to try and put his hands on Mydei's shoulders to rattle him.]
I shouldn't be near you! Any of you! I managed to save you this time but what if I don't the next! The money should- it should be enough for- I don't know, something that makes you happy!
[Phainon knows he's fucked up the moment he says it, because in all the cycles he's known Mydei he did not give a fuck about coin. What made him happy was--]
You should live a life where I'm not in it to fuck it up!
[Phainon struggles anew, but this time it's not to get away, but to try and put his hands on Mydei's shoulders to rattle him.]
I shouldn't be near you! Any of you! I managed to save you this time but what if I don't the next! The money should- it should be enough for- I don't know, something that makes you happy!
[Phainon knows he's fucked up the moment he says it, because in all the cycles he's known Mydei he did not give a fuck about coin. What made him happy was--]
You should live a life where I'm not in it to fuck it up!
[Phainon can rattle him if he wants. Mydei doesn't stop him. His tone goes darker though, full of heartbreak and resentment and barely-contained madness.]
I have never once had a life that was not "fucked up", Phainon. The only true happiness afforded to me has come from a version of you, and the only joy in thousands of years has been with you.
One simple death is a frivolous romp compared to the suffering my own Phainon gives to me.
I have never once had a life that was not "fucked up", Phainon. The only true happiness afforded to me has come from a version of you, and the only joy in thousands of years has been with you.
One simple death is a frivolous romp compared to the suffering my own Phainon gives to me.
[His hands curl on Mydei's shoulders, stilling. He realizes what he's feeling, amidst the confusion and panic: it's fear.]
He- [He drops his hands. Presses himself back against the crystals and the disgusting alley wall, trying very hard not to comprehend what he's realizing.]
You're just as obsessive as he is with you. Why have you never killed him?
He- [He drops his hands. Presses himself back against the crystals and the disgusting alley wall, trying very hard not to comprehend what he's realizing.]
You're just as obsessive as he is with you. Why have you never killed him?
Because I will not abandon or give up on him as long as there is a single spark of hope. No amount of pain is too great to bear to see him well again.
[So, yeah. He's obsessed alright. And he's stepping forward to stay in Phainon's face.]
[So, yeah. He's obsessed alright. And he's stepping forward to stay in Phainon's face.]
That is your Phainon!
[He dissolves the mask and yells at Mydei, wide-eyed, crumbling heart beating so fast he thinks Mydei would be able to hear it.]
I have bathed in rivers of your spilt blood. Of everyone else's. I have condemned billions of lives. Destroyed our home for the smallest - sliver of-
[Are they the same? Dragging themselves through the muck for an infinitesimal chance? No. Phainon's worse, he's far more worse, every moment Mydei spends in his orbit is a terror waiting to happen.]
There is nothing for you here! Nothing left for either of us!
[He dissolves the mask and yells at Mydei, wide-eyed, crumbling heart beating so fast he thinks Mydei would be able to hear it.]
I have bathed in rivers of your spilt blood. Of everyone else's. I have condemned billions of lives. Destroyed our home for the smallest - sliver of-
[Are they the same? Dragging themselves through the muck for an infinitesimal chance? No. Phainon's worse, he's far more worse, every moment Mydei spends in his orbit is a terror waiting to happen.]
There is nothing for you here! Nothing left for either of us!
[ Since Phainon blocked him he's going to do the next most reasonable thing and leave a piece of his soul in front of his apartment to leave a voicemail.
Notably the hologram that will show up for him, if he bothers to check it out, is wearing Phainon's shittiest special that was offered to him previously, since he could not yet afford a replacement ]
It would be in your best interest to start thinking of a proper excuse as to why you're playing these childish games after we have already agreed on a plan. Do make certain that it will be satisfactory, and pray to whatever gods you still believe in that you will find me before I find you.
Notably the hologram that will show up for him, if he bothers to check it out, is wearing Phainon's shittiest special that was offered to him previously, since he could not yet afford a replacement ]
It would be in your best interest to start thinking of a proper excuse as to why you're playing these childish games after we have already agreed on a plan. Do make certain that it will be satisfactory, and pray to whatever gods you still believe in that you will find me before I find you.
[Phainon's been bed rotting for a couple of hours now. He's a master of bed rotting, he thinks. He spent a lot of cycles just lying in some sort of ancient rubble and trying to meld into it.
HOWEVER. He needs to get to one of his jobs, because he needs money to eventually send to all of the folks he's ever wronged because at least that makes things a little better and it makes him feel better because he's never going to come near any of them ever again and,
He opens his door to Anaxa scolding him. He feels his stomach drop to his toes. He feels--]
HOWEVER. He needs to get to one of his jobs, because he needs money to eventually send to all of the folks he's ever wronged because at least that makes things a little better and it makes him feel better because he's never going to come near any of them ever again and,
He opens his door to Anaxa scolding him. He feels his stomach drop to his toes. He feels--]
[WHAT SHOULD THIS MATTER THIS SHOULDNT MATTER ONLY ONE THING HAS MATTERED TO KHASLANA IN A BILLION YEARS AND THAT'S PURE UNDILUTED HATRED AND]
[Kephale's tits, Anaxa's going to eviscerate him. Can he even say that? Technically he's Kephale? Holy shit. Phainon stood him up.
He's too scared to call him, so Anaxa gets unblocked with a text.]
i can explain
He's too scared to call him, so Anaxa gets unblocked with a text.]
i can explain
[ everything in him tells him to leave this man on read because it's what he deserves. But he knows if he does that it might end up being harder to find Phainon down the line ]
Then do that.
Then do that.
[He can watch the typing bubble animate for ten straight minutes.]
Actually I can't
But I need to go away
Actually I can't
But I need to go away
I gave you a very simple assignment. "Think of a proper excuse". Yet after hours, you still do not have any for me.
You realize that were I any common man, I would surely be insulted by this behavior of yours. You sleep with me, and then try to hide from me, blocking all communication. And worst of all, you leave me waiting for you at the shrine, after giving me no choice but to wear your clothes.
Quit hesitating and tell me what happened, or I will find out on my own.
You realize that were I any common man, I would surely be insulted by this behavior of yours. You sleep with me, and then try to hide from me, blocking all communication. And worst of all, you leave me waiting for you at the shrine, after giving me no choice but to wear your clothes.
Quit hesitating and tell me what happened, or I will find out on my own.
[That's actually a legitimate threat, one that thrills Phainon a little - if he had all of Anaxa's attention on him, that's...
But that means all of Anaxa's attention on him, too, and Phainon does not want to be seen so thoroughly like that. He doesn't think he could be. There's too much of him that needs to stay in the dark.]
I'm coming
[And miraculously he is, about twenty minutes later, sporting a truly horrendous tank top and cargo shorts combination, exacerbated by how he looks like he literally has not slept after Anaxa shared his bed. He's carrying a. Jacket? A bright orange one...
Phainon stops about ten feet away and takes a step back like he's going to bolt.]
Um.
But that means all of Anaxa's attention on him, too, and Phainon does not want to be seen so thoroughly like that. He doesn't think he could be. There's too much of him that needs to stay in the dark.]
I'm coming
[And miraculously he is, about twenty minutes later, sporting a truly horrendous tank top and cargo shorts combination, exacerbated by how he looks like he literally has not slept after Anaxa shared his bed. He's carrying a. Jacket? A bright orange one...
Phainon stops about ten feet away and takes a step back like he's going to bolt.]
Um.
[ He has since gone and spend all his funds for a normal person's outfit, he could not possibly keep wearing Phainon's clothes for long. And where have those clothes gone? To the trash where they belong.
Since Phainon is not bolting just yet, and has actually shown up this time, he's earned himself some mercy. But Anaxa smiling is probably a very good sign that the danger has not passed ]
I thank you for taking the time to respect your prior commitments.
Since Phainon is not bolting just yet, and has actually shown up this time, he's earned himself some mercy. But Anaxa smiling is probably a very good sign that the danger has not passed ]
I thank you for taking the time to respect your prior commitments.
[Anaxa annoyed he expected. Angry, he also expected. Smiling, that's scaring him shitless.
He holds the hi-vis orange jacket out like a peace offering. He is far enough that there is no way Anaxa can reach it without coming closer. He does not move to rectify this.
One can almost hear his throat click as he swallows, with how dry it is.]
I killed Mydei last night.
He holds the hi-vis orange jacket out like a peace offering. He is far enough that there is no way Anaxa can reach it without coming closer. He does not move to rectify this.
One can almost hear his throat click as he swallows, with how dry it is.]
I killed Mydei last night.
[ The terrible orange jacket surely cannot be for him. Surely. He doesn't take it but he does walk up to him, and when he hears the words he pauses. He had assumed Phainon must have been taken over by the same doubts he displayed the night prior, that this was him trying to carry everything on his own. Maybe he even guessed something happened with Mydei specifically depending on how the thread with Cleo goes.
But he could never have expected that. It's not surprising how shaken Phainon is, he's not blind and just like anyone else, he can tell how much they mean to each other. ]
... Start from the beginning, and tell me everything. Sit down.
But he could never have expected that. It's not surprising how shaken Phainon is, he's not blind and just like anyone else, he can tell how much they mean to each other. ]
... Start from the beginning, and tell me everything. Sit down.
No. You don't need to hear it.
[He's already pulling away, leaving the jacket in Anaxa's hands.]
I was never supposed to come back. I'm a Lord Ravager in all but name now. A literal weapon of mass destruction. I could kill you, too, easy as breathing. Leave, Professor.
[He's already pulling away, leaving the jacket in Anaxa's hands.]
I was never supposed to come back. I'm a Lord Ravager in all but name now. A literal weapon of mass destruction. I could kill you, too, easy as breathing. Leave, Professor.
[ Ah. It truly was conceited of him to think he'd managed to tie him down with a bit of manipulation and human warmth. Another failure, then. ]
You are my most exceptional student. Yet so often, you are also the most foolish person I have ever met.
It is not for my sake, or Mydei's, that you are trying to disappear. If your spirit has been broken so thoroughly that you want for nothing more than being allowed to hide now, then so be it. But do not pass it off as protection.
It is only your own heart that you are protecting, with no regards for his.
You are my most exceptional student. Yet so often, you are also the most foolish person I have ever met.
It is not for my sake, or Mydei's, that you are trying to disappear. If your spirit has been broken so thoroughly that you want for nothing more than being allowed to hide now, then so be it. But do not pass it off as protection.
It is only your own heart that you are protecting, with no regards for his.
Edited 2025-07-12 13:13 (UTC)
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