sandalphon | inbox / recourt

[The heaviness in his tone disappears, replaced with concern.]

Do you want to tell me about it? I could write it down for you. [A pause.] While... it's still fresh.

... I've no doubt that those memories will remain fresh in my mind for a very long time. And I do not trust the fog that's surrounding my thoughts now. But I appreciate your offer.

[ If he'll let him, he'll move his hand so he can lace their fingers together ]

Stay with me.

I'm always with you.

[How he manages to make that sound romantic and a threat at the same time is a mystery. But he laces their fingers together, sitting on the edge of the couch, next to Anaxa's waist.]

What do you need?

...mm.

That is enough.

I simply do not wish to see you go.

All right, let's get you to a proper bed then.

[He picks up Anaxa again, holding him a little tighter than he had before.]

Are you going to tell me who did it?

[ Being held tight seems to suit him, since he is also maybe uncharacteristically clingy. ]

Are you going to hunt them and punish them for doing what I asked them?

[The air around them seems heavy for a moment. The edges of reality blur out at the edges into pixels, the scent of ozone strong and cloying. Phainon's hands tighten almost painfully under his knees and side--]

No I. I trust your judgment more than how much I want to destroy whoever it was.

I do not wish to betray their trust in me. If I tell you, it will be me putting that trust back into your hands. You would eventually know their name, see with whom I'm spending my time with. That you would find out their identity is inevitable.

And so I will only tell you myself if you give me your word that you will not harm them.

[Phainon doesn't answer the entire time it takes to lay him on Phainon's bed, looming over him, the shadows of his face cracked with violet flame.]

Honestly? I can't promise you that, so just don't tell me.

[ He will bring his hand to Phainon's face despite the flames, despite those cracks. Gentle, like he means to soothe him ]

What is it that troubles you so? I am here now, with you.

I have spent billions of years knowing how the play we are all acting in would end. That the encore would never include me. That I will never see the fruit of the garden I cultivate.

[Phainon puts a knee on the mattress. Braces a hand next to Anaxa's head.]

And now someone else has bruised you. Hurt you. Known you in a way I cannot. Taken you where I cannot follow, where I am the one waiting. Again.

[ He knew it had to be more than just worry - even if that's part of it. It's why he asked, so he's not surprised that the issue stems deeper. He knows solitude too well to be indifferent to this, to wish it upon Phainon. Even knowing he'd already been walking on the path of solitude for far longer than he ever has ]

... in that hell, while I was walking the line between life and death ...

I kept seeing you hurt. I kept seeing you walk away, only to burn yourself out to destruction.

And I could only stand there, powerless to do change such a path. For you. For Hyacine. For Castorice. I could not save any of you.

[ There is a pause as he looks at Phainon's eyes, tries to fight the fog in his mind so he can properly express himself ]

For me, such visions were only just that. I am fully aware that that has been your lived story for too many years to count. And I refuse to let that be your path once more.

I will never leave you behind, Phainon. Not even when you want me to.

Eventually you'll get tired of saying it.

[He nudges Anaxa's face, so he can look him in the eyes. Searching. Even though he knows that Anaxa had always been the most consistent Heir, across lives, across cycles, the faithless blasphemer who had unshakeable faith. He can't help but ask.]

When have I ever given up? Across all those millions of cycles, those billions of years ... have the flames of my passion ever stopped burning so?

[ He shifts just so he can bring his hands to his eyepatch, undoing it and discarding it. He has no eye under there, but he still wants Phainon to see his face with no covering. To see him exactly as he is ]

As long as you do not forsake your humanity, I will not forsake you. You are, and always will be, my most brilliant student.

Edited 2025-08-11 10:40 (UTC)

[Not an insignificant part of him likes Anaxa like this. A little hazy, a little confused, but wholly devoted to him; someone Phainon could squirrel away as his own, someone he could care for, someone he could watch over.]

You're incredible. [He cups Anaxa's face, leans in to kiss him sweet, then longer, deeper, to take his breath away.]

[ There is no hesitation as he kisses him back. Phainon can have everything he wants - his breath, his body, his soul. His heart. He's been doomed the moment he decided to act on his feelings and kiss him, really. But out of all the ruin he'd chased in his life, this one might be the sweetest. And he doesn't regret it. ]

[Phainon pulls back only to pepper Anaxa's face with soft kisses, and then finally taking his hand in his own and pressing a kiss to his knuckles, adoring.]

You should get some rest, sweetheart.

[ Ah ... those terms of endearment again. There's undeniable softness and fondness at it, and the small smile on his face betrays just how much he enjoys hearing it. He's not thinking clearly - he knows normally he would make sure to hide it. Phainon would be too powerful with this knowledge. But the words are out before he can think better of it ]

I do like how that sounds when you say it. And I like the thought of being your sweetheart.

Oh.

[Phainon knows he's a little woozy, and he'll never say what he just said to Phainon's face, but it's still sweet to hear, and Phainon has to kiss him stupid again, slow and syrupy.]

You're my beloved. [He kisses Anaxa above his missing eye:] Dearest.

[ Those two, too, just make his heart soar. He'll kiss him back - slow and gentle, because he doesn't have the energy for more, but he also wraps his arms around him, keeping him close like he doesn't want to let him go at all ]

... mm.

[ And then, with a simplicity that he would find infuriating under normal circumstances ]

I love you.

Ah-

[What else can Phainon do but climb into bed with him? Reaver's coldness melts away into the Deliverer, and he curls around Anaxa, tucking him into his chest. His eyes feel a little wet.]

I love you always.

[ He will reach for his face, pulling him into yet another kiss. Tomorrow he might feel embarrassed for putting a name to his feelings after all these years. But today it doesn't matter. He wants to stay with this man, cherish him, make him believe what he already knows: he will never leave him behind. ]

I can't believe my professor could be this cute and clingy!

[Sure Anaxa will 100% have his revenge later when he's more lucid, but Phainon is a man who is very much likes the concept of seizing the moment.]

[ Well good he's going to even more cute and clingy, full on nuzzling against him and resting his head against him. He's not completely out of it, he knows what he's doing. But it is difficult to not take this chance to let himself go just a little bit. He'll have an excuse for it tomorrow, after all ]

Do not be so smug about it.

inbox / recourt

Re: Day 34

Re: Day 34

Re: Day 34

Re: Day 34

Re: Day 34

Re: Day 34

1/2

Re: Day 34

Re: Day 34

Re: Day 34

Re: Day 34

Re: Day 34

Re: Day 34

Re: Day 34

Re: Day 34

Re: Day 34

Re: Day 34

Re: Day 34

Re: Day 34

Re: Day 34

Re: Day 34

Re: Day 34

Re: Day 34

Re: Day 34

Re: Day 34